FAQ

  • Because ‘Hot Pile of Rabbit Poop’ didn’t test well with our imaginary focus group. Look, we know it’s poop. You know it’s poop. But we package it like it’s a bottle of champagne—because plants deserve nice things, too. Classy Rabbit is the joke and the truth. It’s elegance with a side of excrement. Happy to have cleared that up for you.

  • First of all, bold of you to say twosies like we’re all in preschool. But yes—it’s different. Secondly, it is different…because it’s better.

  • Bless her. She’s not wrong.

    You know how when you buy some other potting mixes, you also have to buy pumice or perlite, some kind of fertilizer, maybe even a microbial booster—just to make it actually work? Yeah, we don’t do that.

    Our mix is ready straight out of the bag. Structure, drainage, nutrients, microbes—it’s all in there. No amending. No add-ons. No extra shopping cart full of “fixes.” Just open, pot, water, done.

  • We promise not to insult your intelligence. That’s it. No magical growth rates, no overnight transformations, no whispering to your pothos until it loves you back. We give your soil what it actually wants—carbon-based, biologically active stuff that doesn’t come from a vat. If you’re looking for a miracle, try televangelism. If you’re looking for something that works the way nature intended? You’re in the right place.

  • The word organic is everywhere—on labels, in ads, and on always on the receiving end of a hefty payment. But what does it actually mean?

    It’s tossed around like a truism—as if saying “organic is better” settles the debate. But that phrase tells you nothing. Better than what? For whom? Under what conditions? It’s vague by design.

    If something were truly self-evident, it wouldn’t need to hide behind a marketing term. You’d be able to see the difference—in the soil, in the process, and in the results.

    We don’t do organic. We do real. And real doesn’t need a label to prove itself.

    And, BTW, we don’t need some “independent” lab to know that what comes out of a rabbit’s butt is good.

  • Because ‘kindly reconsider your dependence on industrialized agricultural conglomerates’ doesn’t have the same ring to it. Big Ag treats soil like a disposable napkin—squeeze out what you can, throw it away when it’s dead. We don’t. We believe in feeding the soil, not exploiting it. So of course we say F* Big Ag. Your plants (and the planet) will thank you.

  • Oh, we don’t hate them. We just think they’re the fast food of plant care—gets you something quick, but leaves the soil with trust issues. Sure, nitrogen, phosphorus, and potassium (NPK) are important, but acting like they’re all a plant needs is like saying all humans need is caffeine, Wi-Fi, and vibes.

    Like humans, plants are more complicated than that. They need a full buffet of micronutrients—calcium, magnesium, boron, zinc, and a bunch of stuff Big Fertilizer doesn’t even try to include. Rabbit poop does include them. Naturally. No math, no mystery.

    So yeah, NPK can give you quick results. Just like that energy drink you had instead of lunch. Enjoy the crash.

  • Carbon-based materials are derived from biological matter—substances containing carbon atoms bonded with hydrogen, oxygen, and other elements—that serve as the foundational building blocks for biological processes in soil ecosystems. These materials support microbial activity, enhance nutrient cycling, and contribute to long-term soil structure and fertility.

  • Sure. You know how plants eat stuff from the soil? Well, soil is like a pantry—and carbon is the snack shelf. Everything that was once alive (like leaves, poop, and banana peels) breaks down and turns into food for the soil. That’s carbon-based.

    It’s what makes dirt actually good. Not just brown stuff—living stuff. Without it, your plant’s basically chewing on cardboard and wondering what it did to deserve this life.

    So yeah. Carbon = food. Poop = carbon. You're welcome.

  • Because we’re not trying to trick you into buying something you don’t need. Our prices are fair, our product works, and we don’t do fake sales to make you feel like you’re getting a deal. Go elsewhere if you want to be hoodwinked. But we hope you stick around.

  • Maybe. Probably. It’s poop, not perfume. We don’t run this stuff through a hairnet-wearing assembly line in a sterile lab. We sift, we screen, we blend—but this is real compost, made from real rabbit manure, and rabbits are… fuzzy. So, an occasional hair might sneak through. Call it proof of life.

    And honestly? That little hair is doing more for your soil than you may realize. As it breaks down, it adds nitrogen and biological matter, feeding microbes and improving soil texture.

    So don’t freak out. It’s not gross. It’s functional.

  • No. You should see our LEGO collection.

  • Most potting mixes are lifeless. Literally. They're just fluff—peat, bark, maybe some perlite—so your plant doesn’t suffocate. But nutrition? Microbes? Anything alive? Not really.

    Classy Rabbit is different because it's alive. It’s built on compost, rabbit manure, and a buffet of natural inputs designed to feed soil microbes and support long-term plant health. It’s got structure, drainage, nutrients, mycorrhizae, minerals, even molasses to keep the underground ecosystem thriving.

    You’re not just giving your plant a place to sit. You’re giving it a place to live.

(This FAQ isn’t here to validate skepticism, it’s to have fun stomping on it 😁)